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| thanksgiving-wallpapers.com |
Isn't it strange how what you think of as "home" can be a place you lived for less than half of your life? What is that? Nostalgia? We've all heard the saying "you can't go home again" but I don't really believe that's true in my case. No, it's not because I think I am somehow "special" or exempt - it's because I don't think I am homesick in the classic sense. I realize the people of my childhood are all gone. Mom and Dad aren't back there as suspended-in-time versions of themselves. I have no delusions that going "home" would somehow transport me back to an earlier time where my problems magically disappear into a childlike haze. And I'm not even sure I'd want it if there were an "app for that" or an Easy Button.
I miss the small things. The smell of real grass. I even miss the smell of real dirt! I miss the smell of the forest even though I'm pretty sure that's the smell of rotting leaves on the under-forest. In the spring, I miss the green on the trees and the dew on the grass. I miss the "crispness" of fall and the sight of all of the trees changing colors. I miss the seasonal changes. And all of that stuff is STILL THERE. While part of it may be nostalgia for an earlier, simpler-in-my-mind time, most of it is just a longing for nature that isn't devoid of those things I mentioned. I used to love being outside and being active. Walks in the woods, bike rides in the cool air, picnics on the grass, skipping rocks on a lake, long walks for no reason. Sometimes, I can close my eyes and just smell it. Feel it. But it's fleeting. Too fleeting. And often it's interrupted by a random snake in my house or 3 inch long flying palmetto bug, or any other combination of fire ants, mosquitoes on steroids, sand burrs or scorpions.
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| Zip-lining in Skagway, Alaska. July there was like November on the East Coast |
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| Pretending to be a leprechaun on the grounds of Blarney Castle, Ireland September - you could actually smell the dirt, the trees and the freshly mown grass! |
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| Central Park, NYC. September - it smelled like Fall. |
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| Yes, I was loving the grass! And yes, I got chiggers. Ugh. |
So what I miss is not really "home" per se, since I never lived in Skagway, or NYC, or Ireland...I just miss a place where going outside is a pleasurable experience.
Preparations are underway, but painfully slow, to move closer to a place like "home." I'm just not a beach girl. I'd take dreary and rainy over hot and sunny any day. I'm a fish out of water. And it's getting harder and harder to breathe.
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| thanksgiving-wallpapers.com |
So for now, I'll just enjoy these photos, courtesy of thanksgiving-wallpapers.com and dream.
If anyone has photos of autumn they'd like to share, feel free to post a link in the comments section.
Autumn always made me homesick too. There is something wonder-ful about the season that is unmatched by any other feeling. You can have a "nice day" and it's beautiful and sunny and breezy and maybe a little cool, but without that distinctive Autumn feel, smell, AURA...it's just a day.
ReplyDeleteAutumn is the time of year when I miss living in Maine the most. It's a pretty neat place to live (for me, anyway) year round, but autumn is by far the best. These photos make me homesick!
ReplyDeleteBut Nicole, you're in a great place! I'd take Maine or NC any day over South Texas. Soon, maybe... *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI actually teared up reading this. I have often wondered if you can miss something you never had, and have come to the conclusion that you most definitely can. I would give anything to live in a place with seasons, I got really close once but now I am stuck here for who knows how long. :-( I definitely understand you're feelings.
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