Nothing to Disclose
Well it's been a while since I've had a good rant and it appears that TODAY is the day it boils up to the surface and out onto the blog!
What is it inside us (and YES, unfortunately I include myself in that as well) that makes us feel the need to tear others down? To condescend? To be just ignorant and catty sometimes?
What brought up such a deep, philosophical question on a random rainy Tuesday, you ask? Flamingos.
Okay, not really flamingos. It's not THEIR fault people are inconsiderate morons. I'm not sure who came up with this or why NOW is the time everyone decided it was cute or funny or whatever they decided. (I inserted the overlay myself because I didn't want this image popping up in association with my blog or me in any way, ever.)
So why is this "fun/innocent" image causing such an uproar? I mean it's just a "cute" meme. Don't take things so seriously. If you don't like it, scroll past it. Ignore it. Have a sense of humor for crying out loud! If you have a problem with this then it's just you - it's YOUR problem.
No. Just no.
I am one of the first ones never to take myself too seriously. I laugh at things I probably shouldn't. I have a thick skin really. I don't get insulted easily and I have the sense of humor of a 7 year old boy most of the time. I can be a real smart alec and uptight isn't something I get accused of. But once in a while, there's just something that pushes my button and I can't find it funny. I just can't.
Why?
Well, since you asked (okay you didn't but in my head, you guys are all on the edge of your seats waiting for my opinion on important things such as these, like sesame seeds, toe cleavage, you know, the really important stuff) it's outrageously insulting and condescending.
Since I'm only very new at having my thighs touch for the first time in my life, I'm probably not the best person to ask, but YES I find it offensive. It assumes that people who have "the box" or "thigh gaps" are trying. They assume it's because they are always dieting. They assume it 's a goal. It's not. Speaking for me personally, it was ugly and embarrassing and shameful. I never knew anyone who had "the box" who was ever proud of it. We are made to feel ugly/unattractive because of it and then if that weren't enough, we are accused of doing it on purpose because we won't eat a freaking cupcake? Really? It makes me want to hold whoever thought up this ridiculous meme down in the dirt and choke the stuffing out of them.
I can't help but think that these are the same people who would object to a photo of themselves on a meme with the words Put Down the Hamburger and Back Away Slowly. *beep beep beep beep*. (Yes that was my attempt at a back up beeper on a wide load truck.)
The thing is, we all KNOW that's not appropriate. We all KNOW not to make fun of someone who is overweight. If we do it, we know it's wrong as we do. While I may say other inappropriate things, I don't think I've ever made fun of someone because of their weight OR lack of it because I am sensitive to the issue, even if from the other side.
So why then, is it ok to have a laugh at a skinny person's expense? Short answer: It's not. Ever.
I think the part that makes me the angriest is that they honestly don't see the problem. They honestly don't understand that it's offensive.
When I was skinny, people would come up to me all the time and say rude things, but with smiles on their faces, as if that somehow made it acceptable. And when I wouldn't respond how they expected, they had a genuine look of shock on their faces. Like they were so shocked that "you're so skinny you look like a skeleton with skin stretched over it" wasn't taken as a compliment! Sure, they weren't all that bad. Some were meant to be "cute" like "I bet you have to run around in the shower just to get wet" or "if you drank a Big Red, you'd look like a thermometer" or "If you stand sideways and stick your tongue out, you'd look like a zipper."
Yeah. Um, sorry, but your ignorance is showing.
I would NEVER (and I bet you guys wouldn't either) go up to someone who is overweight and comment about it. In ANY way, shape or form. Under any circumstances. Ever. Because we know that's not acceptable behavior.
Why don't people know that these things are unacceptable?
Why must we tear each other down or have a laugh at someone else's expense? There are PLENTY of hilarious things in life without resorting to being insulting or condescending.
/endrant
If you enjoyed this post, please take a second to "like" it! Thanks!
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I love your rants. You should do more of them!! I completely agree with every single thing you've said. We live in such a judgmental world and it's so sad where we feel we have to be a certain size or shape to be accepted.
ReplyDeleteI agree except that people do walk up to overweight people and say inappropriate things. Some people have no class or even common sense. So don't assume that overweight people don't have the same experience with people insulting them to their faces. It's not acceptable at ANY weight. Ever. And people asking you when you're a young teen "how far along you are" when you're not pregnant and it sticking with you for the rest of your life isn't fun either. Something else people should never ask! Looking back at photos from that time I did not look pregnant and that person was a complete idiot for asking me that.
ReplyDeleteWell I didn't mean to go on a rant in your comments. Haha I love your rants and agree you should do more of them.
Thank you so much for a post like this, I don't think people understand how detrimental it can be to someone with body issues to see such images, even in jest.
ReplyDeleteYou got it right Sheila. Making fun of ppl for anything is junk. Makes me so mad. I was the tall skinny girl in school who stood heads taller than the boys and got called Lurch (luckily one of my all time favorite shows) or Twiggy (really showing my age now). Bc like you, I was/am very thick-skinned it never bothered me. But the little boy I went to 3rd grade with that still occasionally wet his pants, or the heavy kids, or the one girl that was heads taller than me even, really took a lot of abuse from the other kids and they were very shy and ashamed. So of course Jody to the rescue. I can't tell you how many fights I has in school with bullies! I'm long past that now, but I still can't believe the bullying I see everywhere everyday. That's a learned behavior. What is wrong with the parents that are teaching it? Shame. Shame.
ReplyDeleteOh Sheila. I deeply sympathize you and I wish people could be kinder and wiser...
ReplyDeleteAt the same time I'm kinda jealous of your thighs gap. Believe me, thighs that rub each other in hot weather - that really hurts :((
It is a rather odd feeling when they've not touched for over 40 years of your life I must admit. But when I could finally stand naturally and not have "the box" I literally celebrated!
DeleteSo glad for you! I think it's one of the best feelings in life - to look like you want, to have a body you want.
DeleteA-freaking-men. When I was in middle school, I have a VERY vivid memory of someone coming up to my (very thin) best friend and asking her "hey, are you anorexic or bulimic or both?". As a plus sized girl no one ever randomly commented on my fatness unless they were pissed off at/by me (because hey that would be rude), but she got random "eat something"-esque remarks ALL THE TIME.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't people just...not make conversations about what other people's bodies are shaped like?!
Yes. Exactly. Totally. How can insulting underweight people possibly be a positive solution to insulting overweight people? It's just hypocritical and ridiculous. I'm all for overweight people loving their bodies. And I'm all for underweight people loving their bodies. I just don't see why they have to slag each other's bodies off in the process.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes some people do deliberately keep their weight unnaturally and unhealthily low. Those people have eating disorders. So now we're mocking people with a life threatening mental illness? People who should apparently 'just eat a cupcake'.
Ahem shh katie, sorry I ramble! Love this post. X
AMEN! ♥
DeleteThank you all for ALL your comments! ♥
ReplyDeleteAmen to that! I am currently on a weight GAIN diet because I have the stupid thigh gap. I have a ridiculously high metabolism and it's so hard to gain weight. I mean I'm not stick thin but I could do with a few extra pounds.
ReplyDeleteI feel self conscious because of people's comment about me being 'skinny'! Slim would be a better word I think. So it's their fault I hate my body. I was bullied during school and it's never left me.
P.S I have always eaten a normal/ if not more than normal amount of food!
DeleteI had that problem well into my 40s. Super fast metabolism. And the stuff I ATE! And I tried all the weight-gainer stuff too. I'm just now where mine touch. And other stuff now touches too and it's disconcerting when you've never had that before. Once at work, the girls got together to "do an intervention" even though they KNEW me and knew how I ate - they still were ignorant enough to think I was anorexic. Not to take anything away from people who suffer with that at all. I feel for them. But I wasn't. I was never so angry and HURT in my life.
DeleteTwo negatives only make a positive in math. It is NOT okay to publicly attack people's bodies thinking your'e gaining a point for the other side. I can't stand it when women's magazines--women's magazines of all things!--have no issue saying "we're not all a size 4 because we're real women". I'm a size 4 and what am I, a piece of plastic? I can't stand that phrase "real women". We are ALL real women regardless of size. If you're alive and female or identify as female, you're a real woman. End of story.
ReplyDeleteI know that frustrates me to no end. Or only wimps like sticks. Like someone else has already said, I don't understand why we need to bring down the naturally thin women to raise up the over weight women. Love who you are and see that both ways can be beautiful.
DeleteI have the thigh gap. I'm not trying. One of my pet peeves, since we're ranting, is that people actually come right out and ask me how much I weigh. Really? Would it be okay if I asked an overweight person how much they weighed? To be honest, I really don't care how much you weigh--so why do you care how much I weigh? You can rant about this any time, Sheila ;)
ReplyDeleteNo one, should be shamed for the way they look. Great post, I support your sentiments.
ReplyDeleteWell said! Women come in all shapes and sizes and should all be celebrated!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. Along with my huge, muscular thighs, I'm also an E cup who was size 2/4 jeans. And I can't even count how many times I've heard people talking about how my breasts are fake or even asking me! Or insinuating I was a slut because of them. People can be so horrible - it doesn't matter what shape someone is - no one deserves to be judged/shamed.
ReplyDeleteIt's ridiculous that it's OMG TOTALLY WRONG AND UNACCEPTABLE to make fun of someone who is overweight, but making fun of people who are thin is 100% ok. People need to mind their own body biz.
ReplyDeleteI think people don't realize that everyone is different you could have 10 people all the same weight and height but every single one of them would have a very different body.
ReplyDeleteI'm 5'00'' and 120lbs i do crossfit and pilates everyday i also hike and run. i am a size 4 but have F cups people like to make assumptions about me all the time and none of them are true.
..I have to say that don't think that was the point of that picture. I remember a while back when the whole "thigh gap" thing blew up on social media and suddenly young girls thought that they were ugly if they didn't have a gap between their thighs. I saw 13 and 14 year olds not eat enough because they thought they weren't beautiful if they didn't have it. I think that this picture wasn't to be mean to people who naturally have a smaller body type and have a thigh gap(though the flamingo thing does come across that way. I think that they might've not thought that through all the way)..I think the point was to encourage girls who don't have that body type who feel they aren't pretty without one. I'm just trying to bring up another point about this..i think that maybe their intentions were good..even if they didn't think it through.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't aware there was a "thing" about it and that ANYONE, much less 13 and 14 year old girls were striving for a thigh gap. That's sad. And thank you so much for another point of view. ♥
DeleteGreat post. Pushing it one step further, I have stopped supporting magazines and websites that promote fat/skinny shaming. It's not all their fault-- if their audience is clicking on the link to see celeb cellulite, that's what they are going to keep sharing. But if we really want to push for a culture shift so that every news stand doesn't include images that promote women-on-women hatred, we need to stop buying/clicking/reading these things.
ReplyDeleteInstead, let's just focus on the cat videos.